The Power of Confidence

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Very often, having self-confidence is looked at as the ultimate social skill. We all crave it – and for good reason.

People with self-confidence usually find the world a much better place than those who suffer from a lack of it. It’s almost as though they see the world through rose-tinted glasses.

Why is this? Why do people with self-confidence lead so much better lives? Here are some reasons why confidence is such a highly sought after trait.

Confidence breeds trust

People usually find it a whole lot easier to trust a confident person. (Please note, there is a big difference between confidence and over-confidence, the latter of which does not breed trust at all!)

When you go for a job interview full of confidence, the interviewer plays off of it, and he gets the feeling that you are capable of performing the tasks required of the job scope.

When you ask someone out on a date, a confident person gives the girl (or guy) the feeling that they are in good hands and they will trust that a good time will be had.

A confident person is like a man wearing an invisible sign reading “I can do anything, and I can do it well!” – and people’s first instinct will be to trust the person.

Confidence breeds affection

Confident people are well liked by their family, their peers, their colleagues, their business associates, and their friends and by anyone they meet, really.

This may be due to the fact that confidence is akin to happiness. And people enjoy the company of happy people. This is a fact – after all, do you enjoy the company of a sad person? I didn’t think so.

So a confident man is a happy man. And a happy man always has more friends than a sad person.

Confidence commands authority

When a confident man speaks – other people listen. Maybe it’s in the way he talks, or maybe it’s what she is saying, or maybe it’s the reason why they say it.

We’ll never know what exactly the reason is – but the reality is that confident people find it so much easier to get other people to cooperate with them.

And if a confident person can breed trust and happiness in all the people that he or she meets, and can convince people to listen and adhere to what he or she says, then it only follows that he or she will have a much easier path in life than most people.

The power of confidence – it truly is a magical thing. And the best part is, it’s something that everyone and anyone can learn.

So if you wish to benefit from the advantages of self-confidence, now would be a good time to start nurturing that confidence.

I’m happy to have a no obligation telephone conversation about areas of confidence of performance you wish to improve. i guarantee results

email me nadia@naccoaching.co.uk in the first instance.

 

 

Make the Days count with Opportunity Thinking

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One of the things that fascinates me as a coach and a people watcher, is the remarkable achievements people make, even when faced with a mountain to climb.

I’ve just finished reading a book about Katie Piper, a beautiful TV presenter, who had acid thrown in her face by an ex boyfriend. The agony, pain, fear and then the realisation, acceptance, joy was an engrossing read.  The destination reached was because she never gave up and grabbed every opportunity to make her life better and of those who also suffered burns and acid attacks.

I would go as far as to say that she turned a tragedy into a personal triumph,

Opportunity thinking requires spotting them in the first place, being open to new ideas, courage to take them, welcoming the challenges and evaluating often.

The opposite to opportunity thinkers are those who don’t like to hope in case they are disappointed, who wear the black hat to think about how it all might fail (useful in a team but not the way to live life to the full). They are full of fear and pessimism.

And the most successful people are optimistic.

The first step towards becoming more confident and bold, and therefore more likely to be an opportunity taker, is to achieve the goals you have already set yourself – and then set some more. Constant learning and personal development is a fun and rewarding way to live a life and i also have a theory that mother nature appreciates a being that doesn’t stand still rather than a being that just carries out the same things day in day out, never growing, expanding or changing.

Work backwards from the dreams you want and break down the actions required. Make sure you understand the consequences of your decisions, thinking of all the stakeholders involved.

If your mind isn’t aligned it with your values and the people you care about, aims and goals are far less likely to happen.

Know your ‘Why’ – this is a biggy.

What are the daily, weekly, monthly commitments to this action – what can you delegate or where can you ask for help? From whom?

What are the risks and what are the acceptable levels? Where are the real opportunities?

Think about when convenience is chosen over difficult action or decisions – take my 10/10/10 test, which is:

How does this decision affect the next 10 days,  10 weeks,  10 months etc. Sometimes short term thinking is valid, sometimes long term solutions are more desirable.

Be the Captain of your Own Ship. Set sail but don’t ignore other horizons.

And if there are barriers or challenges, see them as pirates that you need to throw off your ship. Pirate Procrastination being the first one to throw overboard, followed by Pirate Pessism!

And if you want to get there even faster – hire a coach, like me!

Increase Your Self Esteem

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Whether you work for yourself or for other people, daily events and setbacks can diminish our self belief, confidence and motivation temporarily or even for longer periods.

It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I try to tell my clients that these challenges can be a blessing in disguise, there are times when we feel depleted of all energy and focus.

The best way to combat this is to ask some really good questions and learn how to identify and challenge negative beliefs.

Write down all those limiting beliefs and try to challenge them by finding evidence to the contrary. Focus on the positive things and write those down too. aim to have at list 30 things you like about yourself – ask your friends and family too.

Try mindfulness techniques which is simply about bringing yourself and paying attention to the present moment. This will make you more aware of all the chatter that goes on in your head. Being self aware is half the battle.

Do activities that you enjoy and are good at – this should help you overcome the disappointments you feel and spend time with positive people.

Don’t compare your situation with anyone else – we are all unique and do not know everything that is going on in other people’s lives and businesses.

Be assertive and say no when you really don’t want to do something but also be helpful and considerate to others.

Get into the habit of saying positive things about yourself and other people and just don’t sweat the small stuff

Get yourself a coach – I can normally change round a persons confidence and performance levels in a matter of hours, over an average of 4-6 weeks weekly sessions.

What is Self Confidence?

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Confidence is vital attribute which has made individuals win competitions and games, helped people to do what seems impossible and it has also helped men and women make history. It is required by everyone be it at marriage, in school, at work, in positions of leadership and generally in your daily life.

“Self-confidence gives you the freedom to make mistakes and cope with failure without feeling that your world has come to an end or that you are a worthless person.” – Anon

Self confidence refers to the trust or confidence in self. It is the belief that you (or the person or entity you are acting for) will emerge victorious and successful in the task you want to undertake.  With self confidence, you are able to meet most of the challenges in life. It will also help you do what people believe is impossible or difficult to do.

Most people lack self confidence and this causes them to miss many opportunities. You have to interact, talk and communicate with people if you are to progress.

You have to know how to talk to the public.  All well known and respected public speakers have self confidence. Self confidence at the work place will make you discharge your daily duties and obligations confidently while you are sure that everything is going on well as required.

Self confidence can be built; you can train yourself.  Like any other building activity, you have to mix several things so as to build self confidence.

If you build enough self confidence, you will have built a link to success and creating your ideal life style.  Confidence is the pathway to success it will make you achieve what you what. It will make you a role model which inspires most people.

You also need to have positive self esteem and self efficacy. You need to possess several attributes in order to trust yourself.  If you were not born naturally self confident as is the case with most people, then you will be required to work so as to achieve this vital attribute.

There are two main components of self-confidence namely self esteem and self-efficacy.

These two factors (self esteem and self efficacy) are very important in the life of an individual.

Self efficacy is the belief that you are up to certain task or challenge. It is the belief that you are not disadvantaged; that you are proud of who you are and what you can do. It is the capacity to motivate yourself when you fail.

Self esteem on the other hand is the belief that you are a person of worth and that you are capable of doing something positive. If you lack either self efficacy or self esteem you cannot create your ideal lifestyle by realising your full potential through confidence.

Over the next few posts I will talk more about how you can improve your confidence but there is no quicker way than hiring a confidence coach.

Take a look at my website to find out more and read my testimonials

Doesn’t matter where you live, we can skype, take a phone call or face to face, or a mixture of all. Each has its own merits and work well.

I can create confidence in your future

Are You Someones 12th Man

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My book uses football as an analogy for personal development. With the World Cup looming, which sets my heart racing just thinking about it, I thought I’d share a chapter with you.

This is taken from chapter 8 of my book – The Beautiful Inner Game

If you are a Norwich or Ipswich fan, you will remember quite vividly and with a smile, the time Delia Smith made an emotional plea to the crowd at Norwich city’s home ground, when the team were performing badly (I do remember those days most fondly!).

She cried out ‘Where Are You?’ to what is known in football as the 12th man – the fans, knowing the importance of cheering the team and creating an atmosphere of encouragement.

Over the 25 years I’ve been attending the matches at Portman Road, I’ve witnessed the impact of having the crowd in fine voice and also of seeing the confidence of players drop right in front of my eyes, when the home fans become agitated or reprehensive. There are many who say that the footballers are paid more than enough to be able to sweep all that aside, but they’re human and having negative comments or jeers thrown at you whilst you’re trying to concentrate, is not exactly helpful.  And yet, they’re expected to take it and play their best football, which they often do in spite of criticism – not because of it.

So what has this got to do with you? Well let me ask you this. Who gains from your successes, and how do you connect with the wider world?

Social media with sites like twitter, facebook, blogging etc mean we have a much bigger audience than ever before and the wider our contribution to society, the more responsibility we have to act with integrity, warmth, compassion and understanding. This doesn’t mean we have to be a saint 24/7 – just that we need to acknowledge what we do has an affect on other people, as well as ourselves.

All of us need to listen to feedback without getting defensive and I am well aware of the many ways in which people (including myself) show subtle signs of defensiveness, rather than gratitude for a constructive insight. Do you do any of the following?

  • Wanting the last word?
  • Justifying everything and so waffle on endlessly about the ‘why’?
  • Blaming or attacking, as best form of defence?
  • Agreeing, just to shut someone up?
  • Not listening and even walking away?
  • Sulking and holding a grudge?
  • Denying altogether?
  • Purposely pretending you don’t understand what the problem is?

If you are really brave, you could ask the people you love to give you some honest, caring feedback on how you could make the changes you need, to reach your full potential, and then listen without saying a single word. Try it and see!

When we finally accept that happiness and peace comes from something within, rather than searching outside of ourselves, the more we can become other people’s 12th man.

The truly confident and grateful will spend time being compassionate and boosting other’s self esteem, whilst those, that have yet to finish this journey, will be too busy searching in the wrong place and blaming everything else, to ever be a Champion of Champions.

Take a look at my testimonial page

to find out how I can help you to be truly, permanently confident.

5 Ways to be a Confident Networker

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Groucho Marx once said ‘I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member’!

So my first tip is:

1) Value yourself and your time. Its easy to go to every lunch and breakfast meeting advertised and achieve very little. Work out the cost of your time on an hourly rate and use this when prioritising and planning your strategy for marketing, networking etc. Believe that you have something fantastic to offer to the right people or business.

If belief in your product, company or yourself is 8/10 or less, what would make it a 10/10?

2) ‘Me Ltd’

I do a whole workshop on this one. It isn’t about the branding of your company, I leave that to the experts, but about how you portray yourself to the world via social media and face to face. It needs to be consistent, authentic and have integrity. What makes you different? What is your USP? Make sure your target market knows who you are, what you do and how you do it. And if you can’t describe your target market, then that’s the first thing you need to do!

3) Get Confident

In my workshop ‘Confidently Smart Network’ I show you how to use Neuro Linguistic Programming to feel confident working the room and how to put together a brilliant elevator pitch to make you feel confident when standing up to speak or for first introductions My top tip here is to go to any networking event with the mindset that you are there to help others connect with each other and to build relationships. Think outwards rather than inwards. You will make far better relationships with this attitude than trying to get people to help you.

4) Make a list

Go back over old ground on this too. Who are your past clients and what could you offer them now? Friends, family, neighbours, school gates, hobbies – who do they know that fits your target market? Get introduced or go for coffee. Also think of companies that have the same target market as you. Consider joint ventures or being able to use their database with a special offer etc.

5) Blow Your Own Trumpet

Use testimonials in everything you do. Website, brochures, presentations, social media. Use LinkedIn to get recommendations. And change your ‘features’ to ‘benefits’ in all communications. Its not the F Word but the B Word!

6) An extra Tip

Come on my workshop or ask for in-house session at your company! Previously delivered by yours truly for Business Link, this is my most popular and highly praised workshop which I am delivering to East of England and via Suffolk Chamber soon.

And get more hints and tips about this and your marketing strategy here